You might find some of these teachings crazy, Shawn.
But read it until the end, and from there you’ll understand the bigger picture.
What every man should feel blessed to experience while he’s still single:
1. Financial hardship
When you face financial hardship alone.
No help. Just you in your apartment.
You create space to understand yourself.
You learn what mistakes you made.
You see what beliefs about money you still hold onto.
You figure out how to make a budget that actually works.
You realize where you’ve led yourself poorly when it comes in earning, spending, or investing.
All without the pressure it would bring to a relationship.
That way, when financial challenges happen later in life, you’ll know how to lead yourself and your woman correctly, with less stress on her or your future kids.
2. Chronic illness
Chronic illness sucks.
It’s awful. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
(Okay, maybe on my worst days I still do on my past enemies every once in a while 🤣 I’m not perfect and never plan to be).
I remember during the peak of my health issues thinking how much it sucked to go through it alone.
But then I realized how many plans I’d canceled with friends, how often I wasn’t present with the ones I had, and how low my motivation was to even be a friend.
It put things into perspective, especially when dating.
The effort it took to plan around my energy levels, or to just be social, was exhausting.
It honestly made me grateful I was doing it alone.
The headaches, fatigue, brain fog, and natural frustration that came with it… even while journaling, meditating, and running a business, made me realize I wouldn’t want someone in my life during this phase.
Take off the emotional lens for a moment, if you are reading this single I am sure you do desire a beautiful wife by your side.
But let’s look at it logically:
No good could come from that dynamic.
The sex would probably feel dull.
The desire for her (which the right woman deserves to feel) wouldn’t have been there.
The desire for life itself feels grey when you’re chronically ill.
Healing can take years or even just finding a stable baseline.
That drains energy away from a relationship.
You’d want to experience this while single, so you know how to handle it later if it ever returns, or if it happens to your future wife or kids.
It shapes you into a better leader and partner.
3. Trauma (as much of it as possible).
Yeah, you may not like this one.
You may already think I am psycho at this point.
But this perspective will change the way you view trauma.
Ask God to give you whatever He has to break you down and rebuild you while you’re still single.
When you face trauma (whether new pain or old wounds resurfacing), you learn about yourself.
You learn your behavior patterns.
You learn emotional regulation.
You learn which beliefs are no longer healthy and which ones still serve you.
Earlier this year, I started saying thank you for every trigger that came my way:
“This woman lashed out at me? THANK YOU, GOD!”
“I didn’t hit my sales goal this month? THANK YOU, GOD!”
“My health is holding me back today? THANK YOU, GOD! I’ll rest and reflect on what part of myself I need to see today, honoring Your will over mine.”
When you live alone, you have the space to truly sit with yourself.
You can reflect, journal, meditate, and go inward without the pressure of showing up for anyone else.
Black-pilled guys and dating coaches twist this message into:
“Women only wait at the finish line.”
‘Love & Light’ fairies counter with:
“The right woman will stay no matter what.”
Both are extremes.
One rooted in ego, the other in fairyland.
Both have some form of truth to them, but you need to zoom out and look at them logically. With room for nuance.
What I’m saying is this:
Look at your life as a single man from a bigger perspective.
Hardship is part of life… financial, physical, emotional.
It’s all natural.
If you want to lead a family or even one relationship, you must learn to face setbacks and grow stronger through them.
And that drive must come from within.
For yourself and for your purpose, before doing it for others.
Once a man learns to lead his own inner feminine and inner child, he’ll naturally lead his woman and his children without struggling from excess pressure.
Why is that?
Because it’s who he is.
Showing up during hardship won’t feel forced.
It’ll feel natural.
Because what’s good for his family is also good for him.
So if you’re navigating a setback right now, completely single, I just want to say congratulations.
This is exactly how it’s supposed to be.
Because when you can do it for yourself,
You can do it for a family who loves you.
You shift from:
“Women wait at the finish line.”
or
“The right woman would be there no matter what.”
To something much healthier:
“I’m learning more about myself.”
“I’m learning to overcome hardship and become stronger, happier, and healthier.”
“I’m learning to deepen how I relate to myself in all seasons of life.”
That mindset alone goes beyond any “game” advice.
It naturally shapes you into the man you desire to be, which naturally inspires the right woman to follow your lead.
No force. No manipulation. Just alignment.
Everything is always working in your favor.
What we’re doing inside Divine Alchemy Brotherhood isn’t about teaching men “game.”
It’s about building you, the man behind the game (the game of life).
When you understand your mind, heal your triggers, and master your energy, you naturally become magnetic. Without force.
Your words hit deeper.
Your presence speaks louder than any script or pickup line ever could.
Because feeling good about who you are will always outperform any technique to “get” women.
But this brotherhood isn’t just about women.
It’s about becoming a man you’re proud of in every area of life:
Your business.
Your body.
Your purpose.
Your relationships.
That’s what Divine Alchemy is all about.
Much love,
Shawn “Sheshn” Heshmatpour
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