| This birthday story of mine goes down in the books. 3 years ago, I treated myself to a hike in Prescott, AZ, for my birthday. What started as an innocent hike with Bella on shrooms turned into getting lost in the dark on a rocky hike, with a limited flashlight phone battery, and I had to make my way back. Here’s what I learned about myself through this experience. I set an intention on 🍄 to learn the power of presence. What I discovered: – Self compassion – Healing from shame – Patience in holding space for Bella through her own anxiety 🐶 And one last thing… RELEASING CONTROL I forgot to bring a battery pack and a charger for the trip.I was so caught up taking pictures and videos that my phone battery went down quickly. I was straight vibin’ Until I realized I was only halfway done the rocky loop around the lake 😂 Then my dark thoughts started coming up… “How am I going to get home?” “It’s getting dark, I need to use the little battery life left as a flashlight light” “Will I get lost in the dark with Bella?” “What if my battery goes out, we have no light, and Bella slips and falls off a ledge?” “Fuck I’m such a retarded dog parent. ” But then I observed my mind. I became still as the sun started to go down… I accepted and surrendered. I felt my emotions. Identified the shame and the fear I was holding onto. I teared up and released the weight. I realized how much in life it can be so easy to try to control everything around us so we can feel safe. But safety is always what you create within yourself. It then got dark quickly… I mean outside this time… (not emotionally 😂) I used the little battery power I had left on my phone as light to work together with Bella slowly and calmly, by climbing up and down the rocks. Everything was fine. Everything is always fine. Whenever I’d save battery life and turn the flashlight off for a bit, I’d follow Bella’s senses on where to go. It was like her and I were speaking telepathically the entire time. She understood the situation. We both took turns taking the lead on where to follow the trail to get back to the car. The lesson here… You are always safe. You are the observer of the energy you want to focus your attention on. That attention can either be “we’ll figure this out.” Or it can be “oh god I am fucked.” Bring this lesson to your everyday life. You don’t need to control anything to reach your goals. Safety, love, protection, and peace are always found in the present moment. BONUS TIP: Have silly mantras!! Mantras don’t always have to be so deep and meaningful. When I was climbing the rocks in the dark, I looked for painted white spots to make sure I wasn’t going off trail. So I repeated to myself: “I am safe, just follow the cum stain.” Kind of like the Wizard of Oz and the yellow brick road, but with my own sick twisted humor. Thank you for reading this. I hope you receive this story for a chance to elevate your own healing journey 💚 Sending you love and healing. |
| Much love, Shawn “Sheshn” Heshmatpour |
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