Most men are confused about women.
I know I was for a long period of my life, and I am sure this confusion comes up for you as well, my brother.
You might either pedestalize them… or treat them like one of the guys.
Neither works.
Attraction isn’t about manipulation or chasing approval.
It’s about understanding what women actually need at a deep level:
safety, containment, and strength they can trust.
Let’s break this all down.
1. Women’s Power: Vulnerability
Men’s power comes from virility, like I wrote about in Tuesday’s email.
This is where your strength, energy, and drive come from.
Women’s power comes from vulnerability.
This isn’t a weakness.
It’s the unique ability to open, nurture, and create life.
There is a reason why, as a man, you are so turned on by her breasts and her hips, because they BRING LIFE into the world.
But because of that, her biology requires protection.
Pregnancy means two years of strain and risk.
She can’t afford to trust the wrong man.
That’s why attraction for her isn’t just about “chemistry.”
It’s about whether you’re safe to open to.
She needs to feel safe to embrace the fullness of her feminine power in your presence.
2. What Safety Actually Means
Safety doesn’t mean smothering her, and it doesn’t mean control.
A lot of men who don’t have a full grasp on this concept will allow their minds to swing to either extremes.
It means she can rely on your firmness, your presence, and your consistency.
It means you carry your frame, so she doesn’t feel the pressure to carry it for you. As a reminder, frame is the order of your priorities and values like I wrote about on Tuesday’s newsletter.
You are the shell.
She is the pearl.
When she feels contained, she unfolds.
3. Why Chasing Kills Desire
When you make a woman your sole mission by obsessing over her, hinge your emotions on her responses, and stop building your own life, you’ve lost frame.
A woman can feel that weight.
She can feel that pressure that you are relying on her frame in order to feel happy in who you are.
Suddenly, she can tell she needs to protect you and take care of you.
And attraction dies.
The solution: pursue her, but keep your other life priorities bigger than her.
That’s what keeps the polarity alive.
She is not your entire world; she is a part of your world.
4. The 4 Archetypes of Attraction
Every man can embody these to naturally radiate magnetism:
- Protector of loved ones (safety)
- Successful risk-taker (courage)
- Wielder of passion (desire, purpose)
- Leader of men (influence, direction)
When you practice these, you don’t have to “fake confidence.” You live it.
Women don’t want another “nice guy,” and they don’t want a controlling authoritarian either.
They want a man with presence, priorities, and personal power.
A man who knows she’s the pearl, but never forgets he’s the shell.
In Divine Alchemy, I teach men how to embody these archetypes through the power of reprogramming their subconscious mind and crafting an aligned lifestyle for themselves.
By doing this, you will create safety for her without control, and lead her with natural authority.
But first, you must have authority over your own insecurities, anxiousness, shame, and hesitation towards going after the life you desire.
How you do one thing is how you do everything.
This is a phrase I remind the men in Divine Alchemy a lot because the more you master yourself, the easier it becomes to naturally lead women while also focusing on leveling up your finances, health, and lifestyle.
What’s so nice about this brotherhood coaching program I’ve created is that it’s not just a dating program, or a wealth-building program, or a masculinity program.
It integrates all of this as one.
Much love,
Shawn “Sheshn” Heshmatpour
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