Good morning.
I bet you’re sick of it.
I know I am.
While scrolling through social media, you’ve probably came across the “one true way” that every internet guru tries to tell you is the path to confidence and success.
This is a load of bullsh*t.
You know those IG ads that pop up, telling you that this blueprint is the only strategy you need.
It’s funny how they all say the same.
Maybe you’ve seen people preach about becoming an “alpha male” who’s never vulnerable, or going all-in on “just follow your feelings” and everything will magically align.
Either way, they’re telling you to fit into a mold – and if you don’t, you’re doing it wrong.
But here’s the simple blunt truth: there is no one-size-fits-all formula for confidence.
In fact, if you are forcing yourself to be something you’re not? That’s a surefire way to feel more disconnected, anxious, and lost.
We are all unique.
And we all require slightly different tailored solutions.
Can we PLEASE get some nuance up in here?
LIFE IS NOT SO F*CKING BLACK AND WHITE.
In fact, the mind seeks safety in black or white thinking.
The media and the social media influencers have exposed the f*ck out of the primal nature of your psyche.
The problem with “One True Way” advice is that it tends to fall into two extremes:
The Rigid Alpha Male Red Pill Path – You know the type: zero vulnerability, hyper-independent, always in control, focus on becoming rich, get jacked as possible. Sounds tough, but it’s not sustainable. Trying to always be the “alpha” (in their perception of the word) can isolate you from others, and before long, you’re not just alone; you’re burnt out.
or
The Flow-Only Approach – This one’s all about “trusting the universe” and “going with the flow.” Don’t get me wrong, reflection, spirituality, and self-compassion are VERY IMPORTANT. It’s a huge part of what I teach. But if you’re only following feelings without direction, you might end up floating around without any real grounding or purpose.
We still live in a material world, regardless of how devoted you are to your spiritual practices.
Both extremes miss the point so far wide of the bullseye, I’m surprised people still promote these ideologies.
Real confidence isn’t about sticking to some rigid path or letting go completely.
It’s about balance – finding what works for you and owning that.
So Shawn, I can hear you asking:
“What’s the alternative Shawn???”
Here’s the deal: confidence and success are about owning your unique path and your authentic expression.
That’s where your power is.
It’s within YOU!
Instead of bending yourself to fit someone else’s idea of “manhood” or “confidence,” or a “yogi” here’s how you can start building confidence your way:
1. Get Real About Your Values – Start by asking yourself what actually matters to you. Confidence begins with knowing your core values and aligning your actions with them. If it doesn’t feel authentic, it’s just an act.
2. Balance Strength with Vulnerability – Real confidence isn’t all strength or all softness; it’s a mix. You don’t have to be some unshakeable “alpha” all the time. Learn when to lean into strength and when to be open. Life is a paradox of both. Not one or the other.
3. Redefine Success for You – Success isn’t one-size-fits-all. It’s personal. Forget what social media says and ask yourself: what would make you feel genuinely fulfilled? That’s your roadmap, not someone else’s expectations of “If you aren’t making 10k a month you’re a failure”.
The real confidence journey isn’t about pretending to be someone you’re not or memorizing some script (ahh, scripts make me shake my head with a chuckle on my face😂).
It’s about showing up as your true self and making choices that align with who you are.
If you’re done with the endless “tips and tricks” and you’re ready to build true confidence from the ground up, stay tuned.
I’ve got something coming about helping men like you align with their true selves and develop real, lasting confidence- without the extremes, without the huge investment, without the gimmicks.
Keep an eye out for more insights coming soon.
You’re closer to living life on your own terms than you think.
Much love,
Shawn “Sheshn” Heshmatpour
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