Have you ever hit a point where all the things you once loved—your goals, your passions—felt like a heavyweight?
Something that used to be your source of joy has now become your source of resentment.
I’ve been there.
I’ve been there so many times.
The trial and error process over the past two years of scaling my coaching business all while living in a new city.
On top of that, I was making time to also add a social life to meet new people.
AND pursuing a fulfilling dating life while learning more about what type of woman I want beside me for my next relationship.
I found myself doing a lot of things and overdoing them too.
Overdoing it to the point where my nervous system was completely drained.
I’d push and push until I hit a wall.
This didn’t only have me losing my drive but also my joy in the process.
Today, I want to share with you how I’ve flipped the switch from burnout to thriving again, and how you can do the same.
Shift From a Survival Mindset to a Thriving Mindset
When I was stuck in survival mode, everything felt urgent.
“I need to start scaling my coaching now.”
“I need to find the right woman by my side now.”
It was all so much unnecessary pressure I’d put on myself to get to perfection.
All for what? To tax my energy and realize I am already right where I am supposed to be on my journey.
Every task, every conversation, every moment felt exhausting.
This mindset of lack and putting constant pressure on myself kept my nervous system on overdrive.
I was constantly releasing stress hormones followed by a big f*cking crash.
I’d be exhausted and do nothing for a couple of days straight, then the same cycle on repeat.
Over and over again.
What changed:
I started creating new perspectives around myself, and my goals.
Instead of thinking,
“People will take me more seriously once I become extremely rich.”
“I will become more powerful with the right woman by my side.”
I began thinking about how I am so blessed to be where I am right now.
I started practicing being grateful for what I’ve accomplished so far and proud of the work that I do for myself, my business, and my students.
This shift moved me from always being in a fear-driven mindset to practicing inspiration.
I created new neuropathways in my brain and nervous system from new belief systems of how great my life really is.
Now I can take more action from a place of joy, ease, love, and creativity.
Surrender to the Necessary Actions Needed
I used to resist certain actions.
I’d feel frustrated that I had to work a lot and had tasks I wasn’t a fan of.
As much as I love coaching, I didn’t always enjoy every single task from the business side of things.
As much as I love hanging out with friends and dating women, I didn’t always enjoy the process of meeting new people I didn’t care to see again.
It felt like a “waste of time” on days where I felt like I wasn’t getting anywhere.
This would create more resistance to wanting to show up for my business, expand my social circle, and have an active dating life.
Until I decided to set realistic expectations.
The shift:
I started to make my expectations more realistic,
“This is just part of the journey,”
I stopped fighting reality.
I stopped resisting the fact that in order to create the life I desire, I must learn to love the responsibilities that come with them.
We often ask The Universe for a certain lifestyle, but we forget that comes with responsibilities to have it.
Spiritually, this was about learning to love responsibility, and work, and surrender to the energy I needed to put into what I wanted out of life.
Without seeing any of it as a burden.
When you accept what is, instead of resisting it, you reduce unnecessary stress and stay in a flow state.
Stopping the Judgment of “The Gap”
One of my biggest sources of burnout was obsessing over how far I was from my vision.
I’d beat myself up for not being where I wanted to be.
Which only fueled feelings of inadequacy.
I thought there was something wrong with me for not getting the results I desired sooner.
Do you know what’s hilarious though?
I didn’t even know for myself what I clearly wanted.
I was mentally going full speed towards this broad idea of a future vision that I deep down inside did not even care about.
It was all just crappy fuel for my ego.
I’d unconsciously be torturing myself for where I was at for no good reason at all.
The breakthrough:
I learned to appreciate where I was, while still striving for where I wanted to be.
Letting go of Bad Habits
Burnout always leads back to bad habits.
You become unmotivated but still want dopamine, so you get it from things that give you instant pleasure.
Some of mine were:
• Doom scrolling
• Swiping on dating apps
• Ordering late-night DoorDash and putting on a movie
I’d be so exhausted and created such an abusive relationship with the effort of working on my business, going out to meet women, and trying new things.
I would completely shut down and just zone out on my phone, order DoorDash and put on a movie.
These habits of comfort seemed like they were providing relief.
But they were actually sabotaging progress and draining energy for the following day.
What I did:
I got brutally honest with myself.
I identified habits and distractions that were out of alignment with the lifestyle I was creating.
I envisioned and replaced them with habits that fueled my energy.
For example, I replaced late-night social media with more time to reflect in my journal.
I used my downtime to “just be” without distractions and visualize to reconnect with my goals.
By learning to love habits of just “being” and taking more mindful rest throughout the weeks
Falling Back in Love With the Process
The biggest breakthrough came when I stopped chasing outcomes and re-trained my mind to start enjoying the journey again.
For example, I used to go out to bars and clubs to meet women with a goal-oriented mindset.
• “How many numbers can I get?”
• “Can I turn this into a date?”
It made the entire experience feel forced.
But when I shifted my focus to simply having fun and enjoying the conversations, everything changed.
Women could sense that I was fully present, and the connections became more genuine.
Similarly, in my business, I stopped obsessing over revenue milestones and how much I could get done in a week.
Instead, I started celebrating small wins throughout the day, like a client’s transformation or an aha moment during a coaching session.
Or a dope piece of content that I’ve been working on for a while.
Spiritually, this was about surrendering control and trusting that the right outcomes would follow aligned actions.
Staying present activates your parasympathetic nervous system, bringing you into a state of ease and flow.
From here, joy and creativity naturally arise.
Now it’s your Turn to Thrive
If my story resonates with you, know that you’re not alone.
Whether it is with business, your career, dating, or building up a social circle.
Burnout is a signal, not a failure.
You are not stuck like this forever, trust me.
It’s your mind and body asking you to reassess and realign the way you approach the things you want in life.
Through my coaching, I help men like you step back into their pursuits and feel as purpose with a strong sense of presence, joy, and life force energy.
Whether you’re trying to start a business, scale your business, move up the corporate ladder, build meaningful relationships, or have the confidence to create an active dating life.
Much love,
Shawn “Sheshn” Heshmatpour
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