Today, I want to talk about how I helped a past client of mine Taylin Simmonds become more confident and stepped into his authentic masculine power.
Areas of exponential growth for Taylin included:
- Business
- Leadership skills
- Romantic relationship
Taylin reached out to me because he was frustrated with his persistent mental and emotional insecurities.
Taylin wanted solutions.
And in 3 months, we did exactly that.
Here is a full breakdown of how we achieved Taylin’s goals:
The start of Taylin’s journey:
When Taylin and I started working with each other, he realized how his insecurities were coming up in his life:
- Fear behind losing his hard earned wealth as a ghostwriter
- Still operating in survival mode after creating huge business success
- Not feeling like his girlfriend fully respected him
- People pleasing in his relationship
- Not allowing himself to have more self-compassion
These fears lead to:
- Putting off tasks for his business
- Lack of trust in himself
- Being constantly questioned and challenged by his girlfriend
- Anxiety and pressure of becoming a provider for his relationship
What we needed to executed was a shift in personal identity:
One could look at Taylin and be amazed at how much he has created in the last 12 months…
- He created substantial wealth for himself as a ghostwriter
- He launched a successful cohort called “Digital Identity”
- He has a huge following on X (today, this stands at 89,000 +)
- He is in a relationship with a beautiful and supportive woman by his side
This may sound like a dream to you, because for a lot of men, it is.
Wealth.
Influence.
A loving relationship.
Even though Taylin had these on a tangible level. His mind was still attached to an old identity. This had him moving through life from a place of fear rather than love, abundance and self-trust.
Taylin was still subconsciously trying to prove his worth.
Comparing himself to other creators.
Afraid of losing what he built.
Taylin was also in a process of moving in with his girlfriend, and felt the pressure to be a provider. His girlfriend had recently quit her job so he can take on the role.
These new changes had a lot of old and persistent deep rooted beliefs challenging him.
After our first two calls together, we identified his personal identity was not in synch with the person he was working on becoming.
As I guided him through his subconscious mind, we saw that he was still holding on to stories that he was helpless. He was attached to worst case scenarios for his business. He felt as if it would be all over if he were to lose what he had built.
By implementing the coaching I provided on our calls, which included homework involving journaling practices to contemplate and meditate on; we shifted his beliefs to create a new personal identity.
One where he knew he always has the power to build wealth.
After working through this, Taylin was able to trust himself at a deeper level and continue to be present with his business and passion for writing. It helped him become more creative and take on less emotional pressure throughout his day-to-day tasks.
Relaxing into the masculine frame in leading his relationship:
Next we moved on to the next big thing that was pressing Taylin.
His relationship with his girlfriend.
There was a lack of intimacy in his relationship. His girlfriend was getting cold more often towards him and Taylin could feel the disconnect.
He wanted to know how he was contributing into this dynamic.
They both love each other very much.
But just like any other long term relationship: problems come up. And these problems appear to teach us more about ourselves. Taylin explained how he wanted more feminine essence from his girlfriend.
Instead, he was getting more of a masculine and argumentative side from her.
She has recently quit her job to start getting ready for their new life together.
It’s only natural for a woman to test her man more so she can trust him to take on the role as a provider and feel safe.
WOMEN WILL TEST YOUR SELF-BELIEF AND YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE.
This is what makes you more attractive in their eyes. She wants to know she can feel safe in your presence as a provider. Some people will complain that this dynamic is unfair…
But it’s the nature of life.
Nature is not fair or unfair.
Nature is nature, whether you like it or not.
So in a time where major life shifts are happening for both Taylin and his girlfriend, it makes complete sense his girlfriend was challenging and testing him more to see if he is capable of stepping into his own masculine power.
Taylin was not used to these challenges. They were poking at something underlying within him. He felt disrespected but did not know how to communicate his feelings of work with it.
He wasn’t fully aware of his own boundaries.
During our work together we unraveled how he was afraid of leaning into conflict:
- He was attaching his self-worth to how his girlfriend was behaving
- He would not lean into conflict because he feared possibly losing the relationship
We had to change his perspective around conflict and tension. To strengthen his mind and his nervous system to believe conflict and tension is healthy.
Without conflict how can two individuals show each other how to love and respect one another?
We worked on taking his self-worth out of the picture too. In times where his girlfriend was behaving from a place of high and intense emotion he could stay calm, feel safe, and regulate any sort of discomfort in his body.
By practicing this he started showing up more loving, light-hearted, and as a leader. Taylin was not threatened by needing to please her or control his behavior in favor of her.
Or anyone else for that matter.
The results of relaxing in the masculine frame:
Within weeks of consistency:
- Taylin was now able to express his boundaries to his girlfriend
- Willing to walk away from a situation if he felt disrespected
- Stopped people pleasing
- Lovingly able to show up and make his girlfriend feel safe in times where she needed it
His sense of self-worth and validation was not based off her behavior anymore, but how he chose to think about himself.
Not just in his relationship too, but in all avenues of life.
Now his girlfriend is more relaxed, sweeter, and feminine towards him. She trusts his decision making and leadership.
Why?
Because he is showing up confident in his decision making and in his own presence.
It wasn’t the behavior that needed change. A lot of masculinity and confidence coaches will usually go for addressing the behavior first.
But this is simply ineffective.
Because whatever behavior you tell someone to do, they’ll still do it with the perception of where they are at in their own lack of self-confidence.
Their belief will remain the same…
Achieving nothing at all. It’s like a doctor diagnosing pills to mask the illness, rather than cure it.
So we addressed the belief systems and drove the behavior.
By doing this Taylin (or any of my students) was able to understand and embody new perspectives which drove the behavior in alignment to his values, truth; and the life he wants to experience.
It all begins with your mind and nervous system:
You may have had (or still have) similar issues that Taylin did. It is common for us men, no matter how much we have created or achieved, to still feel insecure in who we are and struggle with our own masculine empowerment.
That is why working with a coach, who can help you dig up these insecurities, can be extremely helpful.
It doesn’t destroy your masculinity to ask for help.
Ignore what modern society says.
Because you deserve a life for yourself that YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT!
To show up and confidently and take lead on your relationships.
To confidently flirt and have fun with women.
To be able to build wealth and enjoy the process.
I am not here to tell you how to behave or what to do.
I am here to show you the root of what is underlying in your behavior.
So you can be guided to let go of the urge to even behave insecure in the first place.
This all begins with your mind and your nervous system.
Every day as I worked with more students, I am convinced that all of our problems in life begin by the way we think and feel about ourselves the world around us.
The results my students have made, such as Taylin, show how real this is.
So if you’re having trouble stepping into your own power, positive personal identity, and self-confidence; I have something for you.
Currently I’m offering:
- Exclusive mastermind to step into your authentic power
- Early access to my community “Divine Alchemy”
- An in person bootcamp scheduled for March
- 1 spot left available for private coaching
I am offering package deals as my gift for the holiday season 🎅
I see the power within you.
Book a call with me below ⬇️
Much love,
Shawn “Sheshn” Heshmatpour
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