Breaking down the Motivational Triad
Humans are creatures of habit.
Your brain is wired to operate from habit so it can preserve energy. If you have ever struggled with bad habits like consuming excessive junk food, drinking too much alcohol, smoking 20 a day, or even negative self-talk –this is why:
There’s nothing wrong with you. Please, read that again.
There is nothing wrong with you.
Your brain and body just aren’t being used to work for you.
Today, I want to talk with you about the motivational triad. By fully understanding this it can help you rewire your brain and use its natural wiring to your advantage.
Your brain is naturally wired to do three things:
• Seek pleasure
• Avoid pain
• Conserve energy by becoming as efficient as possible
These system helped our ancestors survive, but in today’s world, it often works against us. Let me explain:
1. Avoiding Pain
A long time ago, pain and rejection from our tribes often meant banishment, possibly death.
This primal system is still coded into our brains today. Your brain associates discomfort with danger. That’s why emotional discomfort feels like such a big deal.
We are irrationally afraid of taking risks because of this wiring.
Bad habits are created for two main reasons:
1. To avoid uncomfortable feelings.
2. An over-desire to do something that brings quick relief.
Comfort is perceived by your brain as “safe.”
• Fear of rejection? Staying quiet feels safe.
• Not trying something new? Sticking to what you know feels safe.
• Holding onto limiting beliefs? They feel familiar, so your brain chooses them.
Your brain associates the unknown with death, so it clings to what feels easy and familiar.
But deep down we know discomfort won’t kill us. We live in a modern age where most discomfort is emotional, not physical.
What you make those uncomfortable feelings mean, what story you attach to them; determines whether they work for or against you.
Let’s say you turn to smoking, drinking, or binging television when you’re stressed, overwhelmed, or avoiding that new thing you said you’d do.
Your brain is doing this because it associates the stress or overwhelm with danger. It’s looking for quick dopamine hits to feel safe again.
2. Seeking Pleasure
Dopamine is a survival tool. It’s why we eat food and have sex—it ensures we get nutrients and pass on our DNA. Without dopamine, we wouldn’t have the desire to eat, connect, or survive.
The problem is that modern life has created artificial sources of dopamine. Junk food, alcohol, social media, and endless streaming are designed to give your brain a quick hit of pleasure with none of the effort.
But these “quick fixes” are just distractions. They temporarily numb discomfort without addressing the root cause.
3. Conserving Energy (Efficiency)
Your brain takes up 20–25% of your body’s energy, which is a huge amount compared to other mammals. To conserve energy, it creates habits and routines so it can run on autopilot.
If you’re used to binge-watching TV or doom-scrolling social media to avoid trying something new, your brain locks that behavior into place. Over time, it becomes a habit.
The good news is, that you can rewire this system.
Instead of avoiding pain, you can learn to invite discomfort.
Instead of chasing false pleasure, you can choose to avoid it.
Instead of letting your brain’s efficiency work against you, you can train it to work for you.
Here’s how:
• Invite yourself to be a little more outgoing to create deeper connections.
• Invite yourself to feel uncomfortable emotions instead of numbing them.
• Avoid cravings for fast food, social media, or alcohol that give you false pleasure.
There’s nothing wrong with negative feelings. What makes them worse is the meaning you assign to them. When you learn to sit with discomfort, it loses its power over you.
Over time, your brain adapts. New behaviors become habits. You strengthen the neural networks in one part of your brain while stripping power from the old, unhelpful networks.
Your brain is malleable, and YOU have the power to change it all.
Use the motivational triad to your advantage. Invite discomfort, avoid false pleasures, and train your brain to create habits that align with the life you want.
Much love,
Shawn “Sheshn” Heshmatpour
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