| Hey there, Today, I want to talk to you about something that isn’t discussed enough when it comes to interacting with women you find attractive. This isn’t about just working on your self-confidence. This is specifically about resolving the problem you have with your own sexual energy. This is something I used to struggle with, and now I see this pattern with a lot of men I work with… -> Sees a beautiful woman…-> Feels a sensation the body. (A feeling of a strong pull, curiosity, a sexual charge). What happens next? If you are like a lot of the men who come to me, you know what happens. You shut down that feeling completely. You look away. You distract yourself. You pretend you didn’t feel anything. Because you are afraid to own those sensations in your body. You are afraid of what that sexual energy means… “Am I a pervert?” Am I a creep?” I don’t want her to know I am attracted to her.” What’s happening is you are pushing away your sexual nature due to the stories of judgment you have about it. What would happen if you were to follow through, smile, and strike up a conversation with her? Here is what you need to hear that is not said enough in the men’s space. That feeling in your body. That sexual tension that rises up. Guess what? IT IS COMPLETELY NORMAL, BROTHER! It’s not something to suppress… In fact, I’d say it’s UNHEALTHY to suppress it. It’s something to feel… and move WITH. I’ll even say it is something YOU ARE DESIGNED TO FEEL AND MOVE WITH! So, Why Do Men Suppress Their Sexual Nature? So this is where we need to unpack this issue from the root cause. Society has conditioned men for generations since they were young boys that: – Sexual desire = creepy – Masculinity = dangerous – Directness = disrespectful Especially in the last 10 years. Men are being pushed into rules created by society that operate under this “overly sensitive HR department culture.” Unfortunately, guys like yourself, who want to embrace their masculine nature, have taken on these beliefs as truth. You believe your sexuality is “bad,” and you don’t act on it. Other ways this suppression of your sexual nature could have started: – Rejection from a girl at a young age and being ridiculed by your classmates. This taught you, “I shouldn’t express my interest to feel safe in my social surroundings.” – Heartbreak from a past relationship. This taught you, “Women can’t be trusted, and I must always be on my toes when I am around them to avoid betrayal.” Between what we were taught by adults growing up, previous embarrassments, and past failed relationships. It has all shaped your subconscious mind (the programs you operate from) to disconnect yourself from your natural instincts. Instead of living life through your body, you live life up in your head. You become extremely calculated and overthink. You lose your ability to be spontaneous and present. All because you became conditioned to distrust the parts of you that create LIFE. So What Happens in the Moment Here is the scenario I see often with guys, which is probably what happens with you if you are not actively approaching women. You see an attractive woman -> You feel a sexual energy rise up in your body -> You actually feel ALIVE for a split second and then instantly: Your mind kicks in Overthinking starts You feel a fear of judgment You anticipate rejection You are afraid of being “that creepy guy.” So you: Look away immediately Check your phone Walk past her, looking in a different direction Tell yourself, “Maybe another time.” This pattern is so automatic for so many men at this point that it happens all in a split second. That was suppressed energy with no direction. You Need to Make a Shift You need to become aware of this automatic pattern that keeps happening every time you see an attractive woman. Once you become aware of the pattern, you must next learn to interrupt it. First, you interrupt it through the mind. Instead of telling yourself: “I shouldn’t feel this.” You shift to: “This is energy I can use. My body is showing me what it wants.” Sexual energy IS life force. Sexual energy is GOOD and HEALTHY. You want to be in tune with it because this is exactly HOW YOU KNOW who to approach and strike up a conversation with. It’s simply fuel, brother, and it’s not something you should be hiding. You want to channel it into an expression. So after you interrupt the pattern in your mind, you want to interrupt it through your body. As soon as you feel the sexual arousal, I want you to slow down and breathe into it. Stay present with it. Feel the discomfort of it. Don’t try to push it down. Feel the arousal, the fear that comes with it, all the uncomfortable sensations… feel it. Tell yourself you can handle that feeling. Suddenly, you WILL start to feel good. Now, once you are in that state, let yourself move forward. The same energy you’re running from… Is the exact energy that gives you the courage to walk over. Smile, walk over, and feel happy that you have the freedom to talk to any woman you wish to talk to. Then simply start with, “I noticed you and wanted to come over and introduce myself.” Why Most Men Fail (And Give Up) The reason why so many men fail at the cold approach is not that they are bad at it. Usually, it is because they’ve only approached 2–10 women. It still feels awkward, unnatural, and they haven’t found their rhythm yet. They get a few rejections and quit. They expected: Instant results Instant confidence Instant identity shift But that’s not how this works. Your brain runs on neural pathways Your current identity is a repeated pattern Avoiding women was a reinforced pathway for a while. Suppressing your desire was a reinforced pathway for quite a long time for you. So when you try something new, it’ll always feel unnatural, uncomfortable, and “not you” in your mind and nervous system. Because you are still wired to not feel safe in owning your sexual energy, along with breaking self-imposed social barriers. Confidence isn’t something you just unlock overnight. It’s something you build through repetition. Becoming That Man is a Process Interrupting your current patterns and replacing them with new ones is not an overnight fix. You must put conscious effort into your mind, body, and behavior every single damn day until you feel like a natural at owning your sexual energy. It’s going to feel uncomfortable. You are going to face plenty, and I mean plenty of rejections. But after all that practice, one day you’ll just see the momentum clicking. You’ll notice your tone of voice becomes more certain. You’ll notice yourself naturally smiling, laughing, and chatting with the girls. You’ll notice yourself actually enjoying the process of doing it, regardless of the outcomes. All because you put in the reps of working on your internal world and taking action to practice this new identity out in the wild. This is exactly what I help my students with. The brotherhood I run, Divine Alchemy, is the place where men receive coaching from me to release their subconscious patterns, face their insecurities, and create a new identity. If you’ve been trying to approach women alone, meet new friends on your own, or are having a hard time changing your mindset. Then I am going to tell you that now is the time to take action and invest in yourself. Divine Alchemy is not some BS coaching program where I just tell you what to do, then yell at you if it’s not done right. I am here for you every step of the way… |
| Much love, Shawn “Sheshn” Heshmatpour |
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