You Don’t Need a Cooler Life.
You Need to Respect the One You Already Have.
If you believe your life is pretty cool…
Then your life is pretty damn cool.
Most guys miss how simple that actually is.
A couple of years ago, I went down the rabbit hole.
Consumed way too much of that dumb red-pill, dating guru crap.
You know exactly what I’m talking about.
The guys telling you:
You need to be traveling nonstop.
You need a wild social life.
You need status. You need to be surrounded by girls 24/7.
You need to be “that guy.”
And if you’re not…
You’re behind.
So I started looking at my own life differently back then.
Not objectively…
But through that distorted lens.
And suddenly, what was already a solid life that I had built started to feel “not enough.”
If I’m being real with you…
My life was already dope.
I work whenever I want.
I spend my days at coffee shops, lounges, and places I actually enjoy being.
I take road trips when I feel like it. I love nature.
I’ll hit an Irish pub here and there.
I am a man who thrives on variety.
(My Human Design chart is a triple-split, bonus points for you if you know what that is
And my work?
It’s meaningful.
It actually matters.
Every time someone asks what I do, it sparks curiosity. Real conversations. Real interest. There’s depth to it.
But I couldn’t see any of that clearly.
Because I was comparing it to a lifestyle that wasn’t even mine.
A lifestyle I didn’t even want…
But thought I needed.
And here’s where it gets deeper.
It wasn’t just the content.
It was the environment, too.
Living out in Scottsdale…
That place has a certain energy.
Flashy.
Status-driven.
Image-focused.
Very similar to places like LA, Vegas, and Miami.
Everything feels like a performance.
And if you’re not playing that game…
It can make you feel like you’re doing something wrong.
So naturally…
I started attracting and chasing women who were aligned with that energy.
And of course, it didn’t feel good.
Because it wasn’t aligned with me.
Fast forward to moving back to New England.
Quieter.
More grounded.
More real.
More in alignment with who I actually am.
And I remember having this moment where I just laughed.
Like… damn.
I was blind.
Blind to the fact that I was already enough.
Blind to the fact that my lifestyle already had depth, freedom, and meaning.
Blind to the fact that I didn’t need to become someone else to attract the right women.
I just needed to be more me.
And everything changed after that.
Not because my life became crazier.
But because my relationship with my life changed.
Now when I go out…
Whether it’s a coffee shop, a lounge, a dinner spot, wherever…
There’s a different energy.
Calm.
Grounded.
Certain.
I’m not trying to impress.
I’m not trying to prove anything.
I’m not trying to be the “most interesting guy in the room.”
I already know I like my life.
And that shows.
And here’s the part most men don’t understand:
Women don’t just respond to what you do.
They respond to how you feel about what you do.
You could have the “perfect” lifestyle on paper…
But if you’re insecure about it, constantly comparing, constantly trying to upgrade yourself…
She feels that.
On the flip side…
You could be living a simple, grounded, authentic life…
But if you own it?
If you’re proud of it?
If it actually feels like YOU?
That’s what creates attraction.
It’s so easy to label your life as “boring” when you’ve been living it for years.
That’s the trap.
Familiarity breeds blindness.
Not a lack of value.
So let me leave you with this:
You don’t need a cooler life.
You don’t need to become someone else.
You don’t need to force yourself into environments that don’t fit you.
You need to own your life.
Be proud of it.
Refine it over time, sure…
But stop disrespecting it.
Because the moment you start respecting your life…
Other people will too.
Especially women.
The inner game is the game.
Always has been.
Much love,
Shawn “Sheshn” Heshmatpour
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