Most men are terrified of approaching women.
If you are subscribed to my newsletter, chances are you are still afraid of approaching women, too.
I know I’ve been there before myself.
Replaying the past rejections, freezing up, and telling ourselves a story of unworthiness.
But here’s the truth that I’ve learned from my own journey: rejection isn’t proof you’re not good enough. It’s proof you’re playing the game. And the man who plays will always win.
1. Your Job as a Man: Initiation
The first conversation. The first date. The first kiss. The proposal.
It’s always on you.
If you wait for her to lead, you’ll lose.
Not because she doesn’t like you, but because she doesn’t feel the spark when you shrink back.
2. Coquetting — The Dance of Attraction
Attraction is tension. The art is push and pull.
Push: show interest. Tease. Banter. Lead.
Pull: give her space. Let her choose.
Be bold, but not needy.
Relaxed, but not passive.
This rhythm works not just in approaches, but in relationships and marriage.
3. The First Date: Host the Experience
Stop being the “nice guy” waiting for approval.
Stop waiting to see if she likes you before showing her your masculine power.
Step into the role of the host.
You plan the date. You set the tone. You make sure things flow.
She’s not there to babysit your uncertainty; she’s there to see if she can trust your leadership.
4. Frame Tests: Why They’re Good
When she teases you or tries to throw you off, don’t panic.
She’s not rejecting you. She’s testing if you’ll fold.
Pass the test by smiling, playing back, bantering, and holding a frame of positivity with a light-hearted attitude.
She doesn’t want you to crumble; she wants to feel that you won’t.
Starting isn’t about lines, tricks, or “hacks.”
The pick-up artist era in the men’s dating space is dead.
You also don’t need to waste your time building social status at nightclubs or your local downtown nightlife area as well.
As more men are starting to dial in on self-improvement, health, and purpose, this way of teaching men to meet more women will slowly die out.
What you need to focus on in order to start out is to own your role as the man who leads with confidence, even when rejection comes.
In Divine Alchemy, I help men rewire their mindset around rejection, master the push-pull of coquetting, and step into confident initiation in dating and life.
Stop waiting around for life to happen for you.
The ideal circumstances will never come; you need to go out and CREATE your own ideal circumstances to meet women.
Believe it or not… You have more options than you think.
I don’t care if you live in a small town or if you think the women in your area are closed off or rude.
These are all excuses.
Once you truly know you can trust yourself to approach, flirt, and date women confidently as yourself, you will realize all of these excuses are stories protecting you from the potential feeling of rejection.
Much love,
Shawn “Sheshn” Heshmatpour
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