Every woman you date is a crash test dummy for your growth.
That might sound blunt, but it’s the truth most men miss.
You meet her, get to know her, date her… and maybe it works out, maybe it doesn’t.
When she leaves, most men spiral into self-doubt, bitterness, or blame.
They think it’s personal.
But it’s not.
Every connection you have is a reflection of where you’re at in your own evolution.
She shows you exactly what you’re ready to see about yourself, your strengths, your wounds, your subconscious beliefs.
Attraction is never random.
It’s a mirror.
A huge misconception a lot of men have about this is that “women” are working against them as “shit tests.”
But this is far from the truth.
Every approach, every match on a dating app, every date, and every moment you two become closer is all working FOR YOU.
You attracted her for a reason, to step more into who you are.
Dating as a Mirror
When you find yourself drawn to someone, it’s not just about looks or chemistry.
It’s your subconscious saying:
“This woman holds a piece of the lesson you need right now.”
Now this is nothing to be afraid of.
Sometimes that lesson feels good.
Sometimes she will support you as you learn it.
Sometimes she won’t because after you learn the lesson, you realize the relationship is over.
Sometimes it’ll sting.
But either way, it’s fuel for your growth.
It’s not about whether she leaves or stays.
It is about, “Am I learning to become more of who I truly am?”
Lessons in Loss
When she leaves, whether it’s ghosting, a breakup, or simply drifting apart, it isn’t rejection. Its direction.
The higher power is saying: “That chapter’s done. Here’s the wisdom. Integrate it and move forward.”
The worst mistake you can make is to turn inward with blame, thinking you’re not enough.
The real question is: “What was this experience showing me about myself?”
Higher Power & Growth
These moments are not accidents. They’re designed.
Every failed date, every painful goodbye is handed to you so you can step into more of who you really are.
It’s not about tallying up wins or losses with women.
It’s about becoming the man who no longer needs validation because he is the prize, and the right partner recognizes him.
Dating is never wasted time.
Every connection, even the ones that end, evolves you toward your ideal partner.
The only men who keep repeating the same painful cycles are the ones who refuse to look in the mirror.
So ask yourself today:
What was the last relationship or dating experience trying to show me about myself?
That answer is your path forward.
Much love,
Shawn “Sheshn” Heshmatpour
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