Dating while scaling a business, healing childhood wounds, journaling through your shadows, and holding back from DM’ing her after two mezcal shots.
It’s a different game.
And I’ve learned a lot the hard way.
Here’s what stood out:
1. The “spiritual” girl isn’t your savior. She’s just another mirror.
I used to split women into two categories.
• Tinder girls and bar hookups = fun but not serious.
• The spiritual ones into growth = potential wife.
That backfired.
I treated each group differently, downplaying one and overinvesting in the other.
I’d project an ideal onto women just because they said they were into inner work.
But here’s the truth: early-stage dating isn’t about sorting people into boxes.
It’s about shared vibes, curiosity, and lightness.
Don’t take anyone too seriously too early.
2. “I’m just focused on my business right now” is often an excuse.
Yes, building a brand and fixing your funnel matters.
But I’ve used that excuse too many times to avoid being seen by women.
People around me (especially in conscious circles) said, “You’re on your path. Let women come to you.”
But here’s the deal:
Your dream woman isn’t magically going to show up while you’re coding your checkout page.
Adult relationships don’t come pre-packaged like in school or college.
You want results?
Put yourself in the environment.
Have conversations. Say hi. Flirt. Show up.
No more “letting it happen naturally.” Nature favors the bold.
3. Women who are into healing/spirituality can be guarded AF, and that’s not your burden to carry.
Just because she says she’s spiritual and her “values align” with yours doesn’t mean she’s ready to receive masculine energy.
A lot of women in these spaces are still healing from trauma (fairly so).
But that often translates into guardedness, hyper-triggered reactions, and pushing away leadership, structure, or flirtation.
It’s not your job to prove you’re safe.
Yes, show up with presence and respect.
But don’t walk on eggshells hoping her heart opens.
If there’s chemistry and playfulness, great.
If it’s all friction and guardedness, move on.
Masculine energy isn’t the problem. Misaligned trauma bonding is.
4. You can’t let dating advice turn you into a bitter man.
Yes, women are pickier. Hypergamy exists.
But that doesn’t mean you walk around like an emotionally unavailable “high-value man” clone, parroting “I’m the prize” in every conversation.
That’s not masculine.
That’s just being a boss, babe with a penis.
Here’s how it really works:
You lead with good vibes.
You offer value without attachment.
Then you see who meets you halfway.
If she does, amazing.
If she doesn’t, you don’t chase; you move.
Simple. Clean. Strong.
5. Female psychology is human psychology.
The game isn’t really about women.
It’s about your own nervous system.
• Not being fazed by rejection?
That’s emotional sovereignty.
• Not reacting to her tests?
That’s composure under pressure.
• Not basing your worth on how the date went?
That’s self-leadership.
Everything I’ve learned from dating has sharpened me in business, friendships, and my mission.
You don’t master this for women.
You master this for yourself.
Final Thought
Being a conscious entrepreneur doesn’t mean floating around hoping life aligns with your affirmations.
It means being intentional with your time, values, energy, and masculine edge while still being a man who can laugh, flirt, connect, and lead with his heart.
If that’s the man you want to become…
If you’re done hiding behind healing and are ready to lead in your dating life, business, and presence…
| Much love, Shawn “Sheshn” Heshmatpour |
Recent Comments