| Your Business Won’t Die If You Have Friends A new student of mine asked me during our Divine Alchemy Monday call if he should still bother to make new friends while starting up his business and how a lot of advice online suggests that socializing is a waste of time. Love the hustle, but here’s the straight shot: 1. Monk Mode ≠ Hermit Mode Solo stretches matter. I’ve done them. They sharpen focus, tighten discipline, and expose the parts of you that still need fathering. But staying isolated for months on end? That isn’t enlightenment. That’s self-improvement escapism. Your nervous system needs community the way your muscle fibers need protein: regularly and on purpose. 2. “Needs Are Trauma” Is Half-Baked Spiritual Kool-Aid An old mentor once told me true seekers know “needs” come from trauma. Cool theory until you’re months deep in client calls, your social skills are rustier than a ‘92 Civic, and loneliness starts eating your creative fire. Humans are wired for tribe. Pretending you’re above that is just ego in a meditation robe. 3. Neglected Needs Become Expensive Habits If you skip social reps while your calendar is still flexible, you’ll train yourself to work in a vacuum. Fast-forward two years: more revenue, more responsibility, and now carving out social time feels like surgery. Start balanced; stay balanced. Tactical Playbook: Friends & Funnels Can Coexist * Socialize Sober. Save cash, skip hangovers, keep testosterone happy. * Eventbrite + Meetup = Opportunity Engine. Filter by interests (fitness, marketing, salsa, whatever) and commit to two events per week. Entrepreneur Allies. Aim for peers a level up or sideways in industry. They get the grind and share resources. (Shout-out to the real-estate brothers I mastermind with every few Saturdays.) * Nightlife Isn’t Evil. Bars, speakeasies, and sports pubs are practice arenas for charisma under pressure. Go in with conversation as the product, not alcohol. * Calendar It. Treat friend-making like a sales call: scheduled, prepared, and followed up. The Hidden ROI of Relationships 1. Mirror & Feedback Loop – Friends reveal blind spots faster than any journal prompt. 2. Energy Transfer – Laughter, banter, and shared wins refill the motivational tank you drain on client work. 3. Network Effect – One solid friendship can unlock partners, podcast invites, investor intros, or your next girlfriend. Ignore that at your own risk. Final Word Discipline is great. Isolation is cancer. Your business, body, and bank account grow when your life force flows and relationships are life force. So get your tasks done, then shut the laptop and go be human. Much love, Shawn “Sheshn” Heshmatpour |
Monk-Mode Myths: Why “No Friends, Just Grind” Will Gut Your Growth
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