| The past 2.5 years in Phoenix have been quite the ride. It was loud. It was fast. It was full of breakthroughs, burnout, and deep realizations about who I actually am and who I’m not. After moving back home to Massachusetts a few months ago, I’ve been spending time with family, grounding myself, and reconnecting with old friends. That time back has felt like a necessary “reset.” And now, I’m entering a new chapter…Next month, I’ll be moving to the Seacoast area of New Hampshire. A place with beaches, nightlife, hiking trails, lakes, forests, and a popping downtown. A place where I can meet people who want more than just short-term stimulation. A place where a lot of millennials are settling down, not to give up on their dreams, but to build them on more solid ground. This move isn’t about running. It’s about rooting. I’ll be an hour south from one of my best friends in Portland, Maine. An hour north of two others, one near Boston, and the other in central Massachusetts. I’ll still be close to the people I care about… while building something of my own. And to be honest, the idea of raising a family in New England… feels right. Meeting my future wife here? Feels aligned. Building a new brotherhood, exploring new hobbies, anchoring deeper into my business, expanding Divine Alchemy, creating more content, and evolving as a man? All of it… feels like it’s time. During this in-between period leaving Phoenix, staying back in my hometown for a few months, and preparing for this move. I’ve had space to reflect. And I want to share some of the lessons I’ve deeply embodied on this journey. These aren’t just quotes or ideas. These are scars. Earned truths. Wisdom I’m taking with me into the next season of life. 🔥 10 Lessons I’m Bringing With Me From Phoenix 1. External success means nothing if your internal world is chaotic. I got into the habit of chasing numbers, status, attention, and intensity in Phoenix, and it felt hollow. That was my wake-up call. Fulfillment has to start within. ⸻ 2. You can’t build a meaningful life without stability. Phoenix gave me chaos, extremes, and novelty… but no roots behind it. I learned the hard way that without a grounded foundation in my own personal life goals, what I want to do with the wealth I generate from my business, and the types of people I want to be around… the ambition of “putting yourself out there” becomes self-destruction. ⸻ 3. Burnout doesn’t come from working too hard; it comes from living out of alignment. Grinding drained me because I was forcing a version of myself that wasn’t real anymore. I had multiple deaths and rebirths in order to create content and work on my business from an aligned place again. ⸻ 4. You don’t need to chase women’s attention to feel powerful. The numbers game.The nightlife.The edge. It was fun for a while… until it wasn’t. Real masculine power doesn’t chase. It magnetizes. ⸻ 5. I was craving brotherhood, not just solitude. Doing it all alone isn’t a strength; it’s a trauma response. I’m grateful I did make friends out in Phoenix, but I didn’t really prioritize relationships as much as I thought I needed deep down inside. I realized, grinding without making consistent time to go out and socialize regularly (for me) can drain inspiration. Relationships give me more of a creative boost and power to come back with the love, attention, and focus my business deserves. ⸻ 6. Your environment either feeds your nervous system or fries it. The constant noise and high stimulation in Phoenix messed with my emotions, focus, and health. I’ve realized (for me) that highly stimulating cities are fun for me to hang out but not live. I need my home base to be in a quiet town in the woods, but still close enough to a major city. You can’t fake peace in a place that drains you. This was a tough one for me to accept, because social media really loves showing off influencers who live in LA, Phoenix/Scottsdale, Vegas, Miami, and Dubai. It took a lot of humbling of my ego to realize that just because it looks cool and nice, that doesn’t mean it is for me or my path. ⸻ 7. Slower, simpler, and more intentional is not “less”; it’s powerful. I started appreciating peace over performance. Presence over production. Intimacy over options. ⸻ 8. Fitting in means nothing if you can’t be yourself. Even in a city full of “cool,” I saw how being accepted while abandoning your truth is just self-betrayal in disguise. There were a lot of friendships I made that mirrored how much I love letting loose and being my unapologetic self. And there were also friendships I made that mirrored to me how I still had habits and tendencies to play small to not make others uncomfortable. Let’s just say, towards the last 6 months, I made a lot of other men uncomfortable as that part of me died and started going all in on being a more powerful version of myself. ⸻ 9. A high-stimulation lifestyle can’t replace emotional connection. Women. Nightlife. Temporary highs. I had it all, I mean, Old Town Scottsdale was only 10 minutes away from my apartment. There were a lot of random nights where I’d go hang out after I was done with my work for the day. Still felt alone. What I wanted was depth. And what I realized was even though I was having fun, I was still unconsciously chasing for validation and connection. ⸻ 10. I have nothing to prove. I may have a lot of responsibilities. I may be a very “type-A”, ambitious man.I may never ever really be satisfied with the work I do. I may ALWAYS want to improve myself in every area of my life that I value. I have accepted that about me, but I no longer need to do it to prove a point to those in my past who have done wrong by me. I do not need to have external things in order to feel worthy anymore. I go after external things because I love myself and the impact I provide to others. For the fun of the game. I can feel my energetic body and my physical body just being very much down and ready to be calm, cool, collected, fun, and filled with good vibes. Time for me to truly be a lover, and not a fighter. Unless a muthafucka talk smack, I’ll still say what’s up don’t worry 😈 I feel good. Phoenix was my battleground. To fall and rise from the ashes. Now I’m ready to build a kingdom. One that feels like home this time. Whatever season you’re in right now. Whether you’re moving or staying still. The deeper work is the same: Let go of what’s no longer aligned. Keep the wisdom. And walk into your next chapter with more honesty than ever before. |
| Much love, Shawn “Sheshn” Heshmatpour |
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