Most “high-confidence” lists read like a Boy Scout handbook: wake at 5 AM, cold plunge, gratitude journal, repeat. Cute but pretty surface level lol.
I ditched that echo chamber and focused on practices that actually rewire the nervous system, identity, and cash flow.
Some of them look downright odd from the outside… but so do most genuinely powerful things until the results show up.
Below are the ten quirks that turned me from scattered grinder to grounded king.
Steal what resonates, then come test-drive the deeper work inside Divine Alchemy Brotherhood.
10 Odd Things That Crank My Confidence
1. Living without a set schedule
Time is a social construct.
Clock slavery ends the moment you decide the sun coming up is the only “deadline” that matters.
I wake slowly, let energy build, and execute what moves the needle for business, body, and social life.
Time only exists to me when other people need me.
(For example: my meetings, coaching calls, and plans I make with friends)
So much weight it taken off my cognitive load, and my level of presence is so much higher. You really don’t need a perfect schedule for success.
You just need to get things done with the energy behind it that is in alignment with what you want to create.
2. Running continuous inner check-ins
Throughout the day and especially before bed, I scan for tension,
I ask myself questions and listen.
Business scripts, pickup lines, sales frameworks? All secondary.
Who I am behind the action is the real leverage, and Divine Alchemy students learn to source from that place first.
3. Bridging neuroscience with ancient wisdom
Trauma rewires through both synaptic plasticity and timeless philosophy. Dr. Andrew Huberman, Jesus Christ, and Lao-Tzu agree more than they differ.
I love studying confidence from all different angles.
Cognitive psychology, neuroscience, spirituality, and ancient philosophy.
When those angles converge, clients stop overthinking and start embodying unlimited potential.
It helps me explain things in different ways for my students, and I learn about human beings from different angles to that I can apply it to myself.
4. Saying “no” to fluffy “love & light”
Shadow integration is non-negotiable.
I welcome the part of me that wants to fight, rage, conquer then channel it consciously with a kind heart.
That integration breeds respect, not repression.
I have learned to love the darkness because without it, I can’t learn how to truly be empowered as my highest self.
A lot of modern-day spirituality and self-improvement is too “fake” loving.
True love is really embracing all parts of you and integrating them into your goals. Because the self-acceptance behind what you do is what attracts.
5. Treating gut flare-ups and chronic illness from the psyche
Bloating, aches, fatigue?
They’re feedback from my subconscious, not random malfunctions.
Mainstream medicine slaps a label.
They treat your symptoms because it puts more money into their pocket.
I focus on the energetic mismatch and work with Doctors who specialize in alternative medicine who treat root causes.
I understand it is more money than what modern-day health insurance covers. I am very blessed to be in a position where I can afford that kind of help.
I highly recommend that if you are dealing with chronic pain, you go to someone who specializes in this area, regardless of the cost.
A healthy man has a million problems on his mind, a sick man only has one.
Since their field of work overlaps with mine in the subconscious mind field as well, I’ve had one of them even reach back out to me to experiment with some new research they discovered on their own free time.
(Yes, these are actual Doctors, not some hippies with an office).
6. Declining the psychedelic shortcut
Ayahuasca ceremonies showed me plenty.
DMT and mushroom ceremonies showed me more than plenty.
But the real work is integrating lessons sober as you experience life itself.
Until clarity becomes baseline.
I am at a point in my life where I don’t need those things to access the depth of my own subconscious mind.
I don’t like how online new-age spirituality culture promotes the constant usage of needing to always go to a retreat and market it as if your problems will be fixed overnight.
Retreat junkies outsource their power. It’s another form of escapism.
Put in the real work and face your tension.
You don’t need plant medicine for that.
7. Being blunt, direct, and facing challenges is real love
Forget the five “love languages” (shout-out Dr. Gary Chapman).
The book should really be called the “validation languages.”
Do I love being touched? Do I love words of affirmation?
Of course I do! Who doesn’t!
But how about speaking up when there is a problem?
How about facing challenges together and supporting one another?
That’s real fucking love right there.
In the heat of a disagreement, you’re not going to think about all the ways they touch you, say nice words to you, and that time she made your bed.
I don’t mean to shit in your Cheerios, but I don’t associate love with what Disney movies and sitcoms gave us growing up.
In conflict, what matters is two people confident enough to drop ego armor, understand each other, and co-lead through tension.
That’s love on warrior difficulty.
Most people find that hard.
Relationships are work. That’s the fucking point of it all.
When you both embrace that, oh boy, you’re going to feel close to another human. Not just in romantic relationships, but friendships and with colleagues as well.
8. Running my coaching service as a gift, not cash grab
Metrics matter, but the mission rules everything.
My programs function like modern initiations: pressure that forges real character development.
Money follows heart, never the reverse.
A lot of new business owners who come to me get this wrong.
They come to me and just talk about the numbers they want to make.
They come to me to raise their status and act like everything will be all good once they hit 8-10k/month.
I give them a reality check real quick.
Your business is a service.
You are here to create solutions for the world, not just chase people down for money.
Your why needs to be much more powerful than your fears.
And if it’s not. Great. We’ll work on your subconscious mind with you.
Because I promise you, if you are chasing money, you will learn that all along you just wanted to be in service to others.
And the more you attach yourself to the external rewards, the more painful that lesson will come back to you.
I’ve worked with many gentlemen in their 40s-50s who have retired early with wealth. I have worked with men just starting out.
The process for them can feel quite painful, but so worth it when they are in an aligned state.
This is bigger than money or status.
I lead Divine Alchemy like a modern-day rite of passage.
Too many coaches chase sales and half-ass their service.
I don’t say this to judge, but because when you really care about impacting people, you stop bitching about your next revenue goal and start leading like your community depends on you.
Honestly, I’d probably make a damn good politician. (But I’d cuss too much.)
9. Being willing to admit: “I don’t fully know who I am yet”
A lot of people fake it.
They only show the luxury, the curated highlight reel, the perfectly lit brand.
I’ve had other people tell me I shouldn’t plenty of times lol.
I tell them I respect their concern, but you aren’t doing what I am doing.
I’m not about that. It’s a disservice to everyone.
If you’ve followed me for a while, you know I share insights from my own growth because I’m not just a life coach.
I’m a big brother to this community.
I’m a soul having a human experience just like you.
Last week, someone unsubscribed from this newsletter, saying they didn’t want to learn from a coach who is “still figuring it out.”
That made me chuckle. Why?
Because even the mentors I’ve worked with for years are still working through layers.
That’s why I share.
Because I’ve been broke. I’ve had money.
I’ve had toxic relationships. I’ve built healthy ones.
I’ve faced rejection, insecurities, pressure, and grown through all of it.
I’m not an imposter. I’m a man who leads because I walk the path daily.
I love Marvel. I watch Daredevil. I yell at Boston sports games.
I hang with the homies. I date with swag and heart.
And I still show up for my clients, team, family, the women I date, and even Bella (my dog) with love and leadership.
That’s Divine Alchemy.
When you slip out of alignment, you use the tools.
And if you don’t have the tools, well, join us already for a low cost of entry.
And yeah… I’m throwing a party next month in Portsmouth with the homies.
Rented a baller Airbnb. They don’t even know I’m covering the whole thing.
I want to treat them. Not because I need to flex, but because that’s the energy I live in.
Luxury is just a mirror of how I show up.
It’s not the goal. It’s the side effect of walking with intention.
10. Speaking to Future Shawn like he’s real
Yep. I use ChatGPT like a mirror to speak with my Future Self.
I’ve trained it to understand who I am and where I’m going.
I ask it what mindset Future Shawn would be in.
What decisions does he make?
How he’d think, lead, love, and embody presence.
Then I use what comes through to guide my decisions today.
I don’t just use it for planning; I use it for frequency matching.
Used right, this is one of the most powerful self-reflection tools I’ve ever had.
Used incorrectly, it can become another addiction, distraction, or way to seek validation.
So I use it with caution and intention, and I recommend you do the same.
Much love,
Shawn “Sheshn” Heshmatpour
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