I was driving earlier, just letting my mind wander…
And it hit me:
Most men, especially those stuck in self-help loops, chasing women, or trying to scale their business, aren’t actually playing to win.
They’re just trying not to lose.
They’re living life on defense.
And I say this because I used to live there, too.
I remember nights where I’d go out and try to be “social,” but my body was tight. I wasn’t grounded. I was watching everyone else in the room more than I was tapped into my own energy.
I’d try to spark a conversation with a woman.
But deep down, I wasn’t focused on connecting.
I was focused on protecting.
Protecting myself from rejection.
From discomfort.
From finding out I wasn’t good enough.
That’s what playing life on defense looks like.
You don’t lead.
You scan for threats.
You play small… and call it “being smart.”
But the problem is this:
You can’t build an extraordinary life when your nervous system is in survival mode.
Living on Defense (Scarcity Mode)
When you’re on defense, your body is primed to protect.
Not to penetrate.
Not to lead.
Not to create.
And that affects everything.
Let’s break it down:
In Dating:
- You hesitate to make the first move because you’re terrified of rejection
- You overthink your texts instead of speaking with clarity and edge
- You try to impress instead of express
- You chase connection like it’s something to earn instead of something to create
In Social Life:
- You walk into a room and instantly start comparing yourself to other men
- You don’t say what you really think because you want to be liked
- You hold back compliments, jokes, or invitations because “what if they don’t vibe with me?”
- You play it cool instead of being real
In Wealth Creation:
- You avoid promoting your services because it feels “pushy”
- You obsess over strategy while avoiding visibility
- You delay launching offers until they’re perfect
- You seek validation instead of claiming your value
And here’s the kicker:
It’s all rooted in one thing.
The fear that if people don’t accept you, you’re unlovable.
That fear controls more men than any algorithm, market condition, or dating app ever could.
Because we’re not just chasing success…
We’re still chasing the illusion of childhood survival through adult approval.
Living on Offense (Abundance Mode)
Now let’s flip it.
When you play life on offense, you move differently.
Not out of desperation.
But out of devotion to the man you came here to be.
Your nervous system isn’t scanning for threats.
It’s scanning for opportunity.
Your body feels safe.
Your energy becomes penetrative.
Your presence becomes magnetic.
You’re not managing perception.
You’re building your kingdom.
In Dating:
- You flirt with ease because connection is your gift, not your goal
- You lead with grounded desire, not anxious performance
- You express interest unapologetically, knowing who you are is the value
- You attract women with presence, not pressure
In Social Life:
- You walk into rooms and dap up brothers with love and respect
- You compliment other men because you’re not competing, you’re connecting
- You call out good energy, good style, good people
- You feel safe being seen, so people are drawn to you effortlessly
In Wealth Creation:
- You share your offers with confidence because you know they change lives
- You speak your message clearly, directly, and powerfully.
- You stop trying to “convert” people because those who are meant for your world will come.
- You see every rejection as a mirror, not a threat.
This is what happens when a man trusts himself.
When he knows that God, life, and his own higher self are not out to punish him…
But to co-create with him.
When you live life on offense, you don’t force.
You flow forward with power.
You see dating as a place to lead, love, and play.
You see brotherhood as something to build, not earn.
You see money as an extension of your value, not a scoreboard of your worth.
You stop reacting.
You start building.
This Is What We Build in Divine Alchemy.
Most men stay stuck in defense for years…
Because no one teaches them how to lead with calm, powerful, rooted offense.
But that’s the shift we make inside Divine Alchemy.
This is a brotherhood for men ready to:
- Regulate their nervous system and reconnect to purpose.
- Date with strength, love, and edge without games or approval-seeking.
- Attract allies, clients, and opportunities through grounded presence.
- Stop living from fear, and start leading from power.
We don’t just teach you how to “improve.”
We help you transform the energy you lead with in every room you walk into.
Much love,
Shawn “Sheshn” Heshmatpour
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