(And How To Make It Easy)
Let’s address something that’s weighing heavily on a lot of men right now:
Dating feels hard.
You’re doing the inner work, trying to lead with integrity, trying not to play games…
And yet,
You get ghosted.
You get breadcrumbed.
You feel like you’re either chasing or being avoided.
It’s easy to get bitter.
To say “women today don’t know what they want.”
To believe the whole system is broken.
But let me offer you something deeper.
Not sugar-coated. Not soft. True.
What if the problem isn’t dating or women…
What if it’s the state of mind you’re bringing into it?
There was a point in my life where I kept attracting the same frustrations.
I’d ask, Why does it feel like I have to hustle for affection?
Why do I feel like I must always be “on” in order to be liked?
Why do I keep feeling like I’m being tested, ignored, or not fully seen?
Eventually, I stopped blaming the external.
And I looked inward with honesty.
I realized I was approaching dating with a guarded heart and a transactional energy.
I was trying to “get the girl,” instead of becoming the man who naturally attracts love.
That shift changed everything.
Here’s what I now help men master:
1. Empathy Over Entitlement
Most guys are stuck in blame.
Few actually try to understand what the opposite sex is going through.
When you realize how much fear, shame, and trauma women carry into dating… you stop seeing them as the enemy and start showing up with power.
Empathy doesn’t make you weaker. It makes you stronger.
2. How You Think Is How You Date
What would change if you believed dating was easy?
You’d be more playful. Honest. Grounded.
You wouldn’t chase you’d lead.
And instead of feeling drained by the process, you’d feel energized by it.
3. Embody the Energy You Want to Receive
You want truth? Be truthful.
You want softness? Drop your performative armor.
You want depth? Stop engaging on the surface.
This is not about manipulation it’s about magnetism.
Become what you want, and what you want naturally recognizes you.
4. Let the Right Woman Reveal Herself Over Time
You don’t need to know if she’s “the one” by week two.
That kind of pressure kills the connection.
Explore with presence, not attachment.
The right woman sees you when you show up as your most integrated, grounded self.
5. Your Mindset is a Mirror
Bitter about dating?
Anxious around women?
That’s not about them, it’s about your inner world.
Shift the beliefs running your subconscious… and your entire dating experience transforms.
Here’s the truth:
Dating doesn’t have to feel like a war zone.
You don’t have to harden yourself to attract what you want.
But you do have to evolve.
And if you’re ready for that, you don’t need to do it alone.
Much love,
Shawn “Sheshn” Heshmatpour
Recent Comments