There are many reasons why people grow in fear of unapologetically being themselves. Some of these examples may apply to you:
- Parent’s warned you that you need to “assimilate” to be accepted
- You were made fun of because you were “different”
- Your boss refused to let you work “your way”
- You were bullied on social media for being yourself
- You were told you were “annoying”
- You were told your beliefs are “crazy”
Well you know what. Fuck ‘em! Fuck everybody who doesn’t fuck with you. As long as you are not intentionally hurting anybody then love yourself for who you are. Love your strengths. Love your flaws.
What does being unapologetically yourself look like?
First of all, it means always choose you! You are in control of your life and your journey. This life is only lived once; don’t waste it by living for other people. Choosing yourself means doing whatever it is you want to do, without fear of disappointing others.
You want to stay in and work on a project instead of going out drinking? Fuck it, stay in then. If your “friends” tear you down for it then you don’t need them. Never feel guilty for choosing options that serve you and make you feel happy and fulfilled.
Second, do what you love! Do you love to make content? Then make content. Do you love to write? Then write! Do you love to spend time with others? Then spend time with others! When you are unapologetically yourself, you feel free to do whatever it is that you want to do. Often times, we put the blame on others or circumstances on why we can’t do what we love but at the end of the day the only person holding us back is ourselves. If you love something, and truly love something, you will make time in your day or week to do it. The more excuses means more self-limitations and in order to feel like you can be yourself, unapologetically, you must do the things you love in order to empower yourself.
That new style of content you want to make. That new business idea you want to execute. That book you want to read. That person you want to say hello to. When you truly love yourself, you will not see a reason why you are not deserving of the things you love.
Third, if you want to truly live unapologetically for who you are then there are certain things you must not give a flying fuck about. What are those things?
- What other people think of you
- What relatives or close family think of you and your decisions
- What strangers think of you (ESPECIALLY in this day of social media where strangers will validate or not-validate whatever you post online)
- What ANYONE and I mean ANYONE thinks about your decisions
Focus on whatever the fuck you want out of this life. Focus on your dreams, your goals, your passions, and your purpose. Everyone will have a good or bad opinion of you and your decisions. Taking those opinions personally can be easy to do at times, but no one said that self-love and living your life unapologetically is always going to be easy.
There will be times where people in your life will have conflicting opinions with your values, your actions, and who you truly are. That is okay. It will be hard depending on how long they’ve been around or how close they are with you. Living your life unapologetically is a practice that takes strength, and letting close ones go in order to stick by your values and beliefs is practicing that strength. As long as you are not harming anyone or yourself, stick with what you love and bring more of what you love into your life.
Fourth, don’t fucking dare ask anyone for permission. Wear what you want, choose whatever career path you want, choose wherever you want to live, choose whatever sort of creative passion you want to dive into, choose who you want to spend your time with, and choose how you want to present yourself.
NEVER feel like you need to ask for somebody’s permission in order to do whatever it is you want. You may ask for their opinion if you feel like you want another input, but don’t ask for permission. No one should be giving you permission to do anything except for yourself. Part of being unapologetically yourself means that you are in COMPLETE control of your life and any control you give to other people is your own doing. In fact, you are not necessarily giving control to others; you are giving your control to your own thoughts and fear of others.
You control your journey and your life at the end of the day. A life that is truly limitless means living for yourself and yourself only. Anything you do for other people must be because YOU want to do it, because it makes you happy.