I know what it’s like to feel needy in relationships because I used to be that guy.
I would over-text women and even hit them up more when they wouldn’t reply.
I’d feel upset and discouraged when a woman ended things.
I’d get down on myself when a girl didn’t text back after giving me her number.
I turned women off by falling into my feminine, validation-seeking, needy energy hoping they’d reassure me.
I thought love meant constant reassurance and staying on their radar at all costs.
But in reality, my neediness pushed them away.
It wasn’t until I reprogrammed my mindset and stepped into my masculine power that everything changed.
Here are the biggest lessons I’ve learned from always needy to naturally magnetic:
1. Keep Your Core Identity Strong
A woman should enhance your life, not become it. Keep focusing on your purpose, business, career, health, friendships, family, and personal growth. When you maintain your own strength, your love is an offer, not a request.
2. Be Present, Not Attached
Enjoy time with her without mentally projecting a future or fearing to lose her. If you’re constantly thinking about whether she’ll stay or go, you’re making her your emotional anchor instead of yourself.
3. Express Your Feelings, But Don’t Overcompensate
Healthy vulnerability means saying how you feel without expecting her to fix it.
For example:
❌ “Do you even care about me? I feel like you’re pulling away.” (Needy)
✅ “I’ve been enjoying our time together. I just wanted to share that.” (Confident)
4. Give Her Space to Miss You
Neediness happens when you try to force the connection. If she senses that you require her attention 24/7, she’ll feel suffocated. Let her come to you as well. Your dynamic should feel like a fluid back and forth that is in flow.
5. Set Standards Instead of Seeking Validation
Instead of worrying, “Does she still like me?”, ask yourself, “Do I still like her?” Observe how she treats you and decide if she’s meeting your standards.
6. Love from Choice, Not Fear
Neediness often comes from a fear of abandonment. Confidence in love means knowing that if she leaves, you’ll still be okay. Love her because you genuinely appreciate her, not because you fear losing her.
7. Balance Affection with Challenge
Women love affection, but they also love a man who challenges them in a playful way. If you always agree with her statements, prioritize her over your goals, or always seek reassurance, attraction will fade. Keep your edge.
8. Attraction Thrives on Tension
A woman enjoys the emotional waves of a relationship—moments of closeness and moments of distance. If you’re always available, she won’t feel the excitement of earning your attention.
9. Trust Yourself & the Connection
If you trust that you’re enough and the connection is real, you won’t feel the need to constantly check if she’s still into you. You’ll know that if it’s right, it will flow naturally.
The Truth About Love & Masculine Power
Loving a woman powerfully means giving freely while still being whole on your own. If she leaves, your world doesn’t crumble—you choose her, but you don’t need her. That’s the balance.
A woman wants to feel your presence, not your dependence.
When you step into your masculine power, you create space for a real, healthy connection—one where she wants to be with you, not one where she feels pressured to stay.
Much love,
Shawn “Sheshn” Heshmatpour
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